Monday, December 26, 2005
10:13 PM
i think i watched too many vcd liao.. i felt tt i didnt hav the chance to experience love properly.. as in hong hong lie lie de tan yi chang lian ai.. nv go through obstacles in a relationship jux to stay together.. didnt hav a man to do so much for mi.. love mi so much.. or.. you knoe.. the kinda relationship onli in drama series.. but i guess.. there got to be someone whom you are attracted to, who makes you nt be yourself jux to let him notice you.. or do wadever things you can jux to let him see you.. well, i guess met this person.. i jux felt lost in front of him.. he's like the kinda perfect guy in my life.. perfectly created.. the kinda man tt is suppose to be extinct.. there is practically nth u can pick on him..
hmm.. i guess i really watched too many vcd le.. i knoe i'll nv be the female lead in his drama.. and i guess its too darn difficult for mi to to hav a relationship.. like those in the dramas.. ha!
mayb in my dreams..
lolx
was life ever perfect?-`
hey
merry Xmas..
my holi is goin to end soon
as in real soon..
spend this 2 wks earnin some quick bucks
for the xmas pressi..
anyway
the most impt thing is
i went for paintball on xmas eve..
it was fun..!!
aint i cool?
steve, sam, hx, elija, simon one team..
qingzhi, shengxiang, sx's bro n frene n mi.. the other team..
we battle out shooting wif a M4 rifle.
n ouch..
it hurts if it got ya..
lucky i onli got hit once..
and durin the last elimination game..
though i was the last person standin in my team
but i was still killed by steve..
i'll remb tt man..
steve,
you'll be killed by mi someday..!!
oh yea
n i took a pic wif the murderer..
though cant see his face..
but tt's enough..
was life ever perfect?-`
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
11:33 PM
y is it tt im losin pple nowadays?
i jux lost another one today..
someone i rely on for so long..
someone i actually love..
nt bf kinda love though..
but its sth more then jux frenes..
dunno y it hurts so badly..
it hurts more den the blood test..
more den a cut on my flesh..
is it so difficult to rely on someone
without gettin into a relationship?
be wif someone without someone fallin?
do i really hav to be all alone agn?
my dearest nanny...
for the last time...
was life ever perfect?-`
Monday, December 05, 2005
6:33 PM
WAD THE FUCK..!!
i went to clinic for blood test today
the fuckin so-uncertified doc took my blood
first she bend my left arm n hit my hand
lookin for vein..
she said she cant find it..
fine..
so let's try the right hand..
bend my arm..
hit it agn n agn..
still say cant find vein..
wth..
poke the needle into my hand..
out agn..
n in agn..
twist n turn..
lookin for some blood..
bloody fuckin asshole..!!
hurts like fuckin hell..
tt's nt the end..
she say blood is nt flowin out..
so she try pumpin out my blood..
once..
twice..
3 times..
i turn away..
dun wan look anymore..
she try till her ass is off the chair..!!
oh man..
wad the fuck..
im in pain till my tears is goin to burst out any time..
argh...!!
fuck tt fuckin doc..!!!
worst case scenario sia...
n its swollen now...
was life ever perfect?-`
Saturday, December 03, 2005
8:40 PM
sometimes life jux sux so bad, u can do nth abt it. some things jux happen out of the blue and you hav to go against ya promise for tt incident. but i didnt mean it to happen. it jux do. but, u're gone. wad can i do? i've got no right to say anythin. cuz im a nobody. its been 2 wks since u left. u said u'll look mi up. and i hate waitin. is it my retribution agn? when will it ever end? you came back today. i've nv felt the way i did tis morn. i dunno wad it's tryin to say. i cant comprehend. am i lost? or have i lose myself? i've got 1 wk's time to be wif ya. and tt's the last time ever. i wan face it, but i dun wan face it. argh. wtf..
will you stay if i ask you to?
No, you wont.
was life ever perfect?-`